I’m an addict
filed in Nonsensical Ramblings on Oct.25, 2005
All eyes turned to the stocky 29 year old in the squeaky metal chair in the corner of the middle school gymnasium. The leader had just suggested he take his turn. He was new to the group. He’d been attending for a couple of weeks now, but never spoke a word. Glancing down at the dirty gym floor and clearing his throat, he rose to his feet.
“Hi,” His voice cracked a little, “My name is Kenny.”
“HI KENNY!” The group welcomed.
He spoke to the floor, too nervous to actually make eye-contact with anyone.
“Um…” he paused, “and I’m addicted to coffee.”
Not only have I just realized that I am fully and completely addicted to caffeine, but I KNOW for a fact that I CHOSE to become addicted. How’s that for good news?! I was always just a social coffee drinker. I’d have a cup in the morning at work every now and then. As time went on, I knew that I wouldn’t be one of THOSE people who get addicted to coffee. But sure enough, here I am.
The real kicker is – are ya ready for this one? – I DON’T LIKE HOW COFFEE TASTES! I hate it, really. The only way that I can make a cup of coffee even remotely tasteful enough to enjoy is by pounding spoonfuls of artificial sweetener and as much milk (or heavy cream if it’s available) that I can squeeze in the mug.
So, how can someone like me who doesn’t even like the taste of coffee become addicted? I blame my 1-year old daughter actually. She wasn’t quite what one would call a “good sleeper” her first year of life. I definetly got the long straw when it came to tending to her every night – Kate basically went an entire year without a full nights sleep. But it was still tiring for me and I would arrive at work each morning with my eyes still closed. I began to drink more coffee. I began to MAKE the coffee if I was at work early enought. I began having more than one cup every day.
This morning, I was asked a question by a co-worker and realized how foggy my brain was as I attempted to answer the question. Then it hit me, I hadn’t yet had coffee today. Then it REALLY HIT ME: I’m addicted to coffee. I can’t function in the mornings without it.
Okay, so it’s not fair to blame my innocent daughter. It’s completely my fault. Gosh, all this confession is stressing me out. I need more coffee.
October 25th, 2005 on 7:48 pm
I’m with ya man. I don’t function in the mornings without coffee. I get headaches, but I know its all mental. But I’ve told myself that I won’t drink more than 1 per day…and I don’t. And they’re not big cups either..just smalls. I put buckets of sugar into my coffee b/c I don’t like the taste either, but if you put enough sugar in there, it’s tasty sweet and it all tastes the same.
October 26th, 2005 on 2:12 pm
I think you’re still a social drinker – b/c you never have any at home. I blame myself partially for bringing the addiction of coffee into the house. But I LOVE the taste of it so much, I’m actually one to drink DECAF – the horror!
October 26th, 2005 on 2:20 pm
Ugh Decaf… I mean, what’s the point?? It tastes like crap and it doesn’t give you the caffeine!
October 26th, 2005 on 5:33 pm
So when I HAD to quit drinking coffee for 5 days before an operation, my doctor suggested this would be a good time to stop drinking altogether. My reply? “No, this is a good time to stop drinking for 5 days and then drink 5 times as much as I usually do when the ban is over.” For me, that would be 5 pots because I’m a pot-a-day girl. I love the taste, the aroma, the heat against my fingers, the experience of sitting at my desk with my laptop open, my coffee steaming next to me, fueling my creativity. I love the socializiation aspect of it and I love lying in bed with one last cup while I read myself to sleep. Finally, I love that my friend, Corina, stands out in the street and shouts up “Rai, I neeeeeed coffee!” and then brags to people that my coffee is “stronger than crack”. When you’re in those coffee addict meetings, I’m the girl in the corner, trying to sneak sips from her flask.
(Yay! I’m no longer your cyber-stalker! I love the clean lines of your renovated blog. I’m still tinkering at mine…. Rai.)
October 26th, 2005 on 7:19 pm
Hi Rai – glad you’re no longer my stalker. The thought of a steaming cup of coffee next to a laptop gives me the chills, since I once spilled a cup of coffee on my friends laptop and fried it… not a happy memory to say the least. Be sure to send me your link when your blog is completed.
October 27th, 2005 on 12:24 pm
You’re actually not a coffee addict. You are a soup addict though.
October 27th, 2005 on 12:28 pm
This is true.