Genius!
filed in Nonsensical Ramblings on Apr.04, 2006
Through a nasty episode of my arithmomania this morning (I’ll blog about that another day), my brain led me to the realization that I was born a physics genius! That’s right. You see, I was transported back to a typical Saturday morning of my youth. Sitting on the couch, watching an episode of The Dukes of Hazard, surrounded by my vast collection of Matchbox and Hot Wheels cars…
I remember having a Revelation – Yes, with a capital R – that television was fake.
Now, sure, there are many possible reasons to discover that most things you see on TV are false, but mine was a scientific revelation. I pondered that all the car jumping that took place in the Dukes of Hazard could not possibly take place. I was seeing the General Lee launch off the latest pile of dirt or misplaced stack of hay bails and stay fairly parallel to the ground in mid-flight, only to bounce down on all four wheels and speed away.
“False!” I cried.
I reasoned that since the weight of the car was in the engine and the engine was in the front, that any sort of launching off ramps would send any car into a fairly quick and terminal nose dive – resulting in the smashing of the radiator and most likely more serious engine complications – rendering the vehicle disabled. I further reasoned that Evel Knievel was able to stay parallel to the ground with his huge jumps because a motorcycle’s engine is centered on the bike, thus giving a true center of gravity.
The result of my revelation – again, at a very young age – was that any jumps my matchbox cars made ended in certain catastrophe. My play was always very real. I’m not sure how old I was, but it was too young to be thinking about Physics. Yet another example of my true genius…
April 4th, 2006 on 8:52 am
Two questions: What does counting things have to do with the Dukes or physics? Why are you still thinking about your matchbox cars and this big revelation some 20 or more years later??
By the way, I don’t care what you say. The A-Team was way cooler than the Dukes, fool.
April 4th, 2006 on 8:55 am
#1: My arithmomania works in mysterious ways. There is no rhyme or reason. It leads me to strange places sometimes.
#2: A boy may grow up and get new toys, but the toys of his youth will forever stay close to his heart.
#3: I’m not arguing the pure television genius of The A-TEAM, but if you quoting Mr. T., please use the accepted A-TEAM spelling of “PHOOL!”
April 5th, 2006 on 6:56 am
If TV is so fake, what about Survivor, the Apprentice, the Amazing Race, NWA wrestling, Blind Date, and the Bachelor? They are all real.
April 5th, 2006 on 6:28 pm
Hee hee hee, that’s a good one, Jason.
April 6th, 2006 on 1:14 pm
I’m sure Erin inherited your genius. Have you seen the Fisher Price “Particle Accelerator and Cold Fusion Kit?” You should get her that for her birthday. 😛